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I’m not perky.


As I was searching Wednesday memes for another meme I loved, I found this one. Love it. There’s this relief in just admitting for three seconds that you’re not a ball of sunshine.


I mean, look at social media. We’re supposed to be happy 24/7, at least on paper, and we have to showcase our happiness almost before we feel it or we’re either invisible or depressed.

I’m not perky right now. In fact I may be the not-perkiest I’ve been in a long time. And you know what? That’s perfectly OK. I’m still quite capable of voicing a good opinion, writing an awesome song, cooking a tasty meal, and have some solid fun. In fact I probably have more fun by starting out in a non-perky position. Being unhappy does not make me crazy, un-trusworthy, or even clinically depressed. I don’t have to have a diagnosis because I’m not happy. It is not an illness (I know depression is, but depression is an entirely different thing altogether).

I’m just not perky. Am I not worried about starting work on an album, then? Low on energy, and the album is going in a more hopeful, happy direction than probably all the earlier ones. Is that not just another way to spell ”disaster”? I don’t think so. A lot of artists put out their happiest stuff while they are going through tough times. Beck, Janet Jackson, Carly Simon, PJ Harvey, just to name a few.

You put out happy stuff because you need to hear happy stuff, you need to work with things that are hopeful and positive.

I think the same goes for the other way around. Heck, autumn 2012 I was at this friggin’ happy peak and I released an EP dealing with childhood abuse, death, bad love and addiction.

To go dark you need to have a light place to step down from, one you can step back up to at any moment. Stable mood = able to go unstable. At least in an ideal world, where the likes of Heath Ledger do not take the role of the Joker while sharing the darkness of the character.

So… friends and beautiful freaks… Embrace your inner Wednesday at times. Liberating as fudge. More liberating than saying the actual word fudge replaces.




About lillabohmen

Swedish lovechild of Kate Bush, Tori Amos and PJ Harvey. 2 albums and 2 EP:s, all available at Spotify, Itunes, and physically. A blog about music, being a female musician in a male dominated business and the occasional feminist/veggie rant. Check out my homepage: for news, bits and bobs and bio, and buy-o of my music. Never lose that creative spark!

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