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I miss you…

The year ended badly and began badly with some of my fav Britons losing the battle to cancer. I mean… Lemmy… there are no words, what he meant for rock ‘n’roll?

And Bowie. Though the absolute favourite artist of all time to one of the wives rather than me,  I felt a pang. I discovered things with Bowie. Growing up in a small-minded place/town all I heard about Bowie was: “He thinks he’s an alien, he dresses like a girl, he does weird things, weird music, bla bla bla bla.” And I listened and I was like; “But this is great? How can you ignore it? “One of the first artist that taught me that you can scare the norm and still be brilliant. In fact it might even help a little if you’re scary to the boring folks.

And then… Alan Rickman. I mean… I don’t know what to say. At age 9, I watched Robin Hood, and for some odd reason I was really sad to see the bad guy kick it. Couldn’t he just find some sociopath woman who loved him back and live happily ever after? He was kinda cute!

Fast forward to 2003. I had met new friends who seemed great and awesome and we were beginning to get close, so I admitted: “I think Alan Rickman is really hot…” and one friends face lit up. “Me toooooo!” That’s sorta how we got really close… We would watch all the Harry Potter films as soon as possible in the cinema, and we’d purrrrr our way through the Snape scenes…

Then my nightmare. The day I turned 21, 2005,  my friends blindfolded me and kidnapped me and when the blindfold came of I was wearing a white dress and a veil in Slottsskogen Park in Gothenburg. “Aaaaah, wedding clothes… dudes, you know I hate…” then I saw my groom, and it was Snape. OK, it could have been one of my wives in a Snape-mask but I’m sure it was Snape. We all had wedding cake out of chocolate and it was a very romantic day…

He was one of my first crushes. I have audiobooks (looove the voice), I have films, I have memories of me and my friend changing famous song lyrics like “Mandy” and replacing them with “Alan”. I am very sad today. I have lost my childhood crush and the world has lost a very accomplished, handsome actor who loved and lifted his craft.

They say it comes in 3’s. I hope that’s true cause I don’t think I can take anymore. All I know is f*ck cancer and it’s pinpointing on 69 year old brits this month.

Miss you and love you, dudes. After all this time?… Always…



About lillabohmen

Swedish lovechild of Kate Bush, Tori Amos and PJ Harvey. 2 albums and 2 EP:s, all available at Spotify, Itunes, and physically. A blog about music, being a female musician in a male dominated business and the occasional feminist/veggie rant. Check out my homepage: for news, bits and bobs and bio, and buy-o of my music. Never lose that creative spark!

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