Getting to know the new addition

I recently aquired a red Nikon D3300 to my camera collection, my first fully digital SLR camera. I actually have some analogue ones, my grandpa was a total photo buff just like me and he gave two to me during his lifetime, and I inherited one when he died. While I enjoy playing around with them very much, especially in honour of gramp’s memory, I thought it was about time I got one for my line of work and let’s face it, just because I love photography.

Ever since I got a raise at work this spring I started saving up, and I finally made a move as it made sense to give it to my selfsome as a birthday present. I was so careful and didn’t even dare to use it before I got a case for it today, I ventured down to central Skara where they have some really nice alternatives to choose from, and helpful personel to give me a few pointers. I do like that about small towns.

I baught the camera house at cyberphoto.se, and they sent me a milky way in the package too! I choose to interpret that as me being special and them knowing my great love for chocolate, even if a photographer friend indicate they always do that 😉 Anywho, the milky way was delish! 😉

Here are some of the first pics I took (and a pic of the camera itself and the milky way package)! 🙂 I still need some practice but my furry friends light up a pic no matter what.

DSC_0005

DSC_0010

DSC_0013

DSC_0017

DSC_0019

11217958_10153278852019270_7475222319043119287_n

What a feeling…

Spending days looking for the perfect effects for your choir package and finally finding them like I did today;

Better than an orgasm. Just as good as chocolate. So you know I mean business.

Since I can’t really produce pics I’ll leave you with some weekend stuff, Trollhättan, Fallens Dagar, a fruit plate that looks like a happy duck (I can play with my food, I’m allowed, there has to be upsides to being an adult), some happy cows and pigs at Aspö gård and a sign that says: “caution, snow” in Skara mid-July. Yes. Mid-July. “22 degrees Celsius/ 72 degrees Fahrenheit”-July…


  

Restless mind – the science of sheep

I’ll admit something personal, I’m a regular insomniac. I never used to be, I think I couldn’t be what with school/university always starting early in the morning. Sleep came easy. I had other side effects from that restless mind of my mine. I used to have the bad form of lucid dreaming. Now, unlike my friend who’s a neuro biology student/doctor I can only explain this simply, but I guess that’s good if you’re not a neuro biology student yourself.

Good form of lucid dreaming: You realize you’re dreaming and can control your dream. Bad form: Your body (or maybe just eyes) wakes up and your brain doesn’t quite, so you still dream and see things like hands reaching out for you in the bed, spiders coming down from the ceiling, at times you’ll even feel something chomping at your feet and it actually hurts because your damn brain is sending out those signals! Traitor! I’ve had one witness able to describe it as he woke me up from it. The dream I had beforehand was bad, and I wanted to turn on the lights. I saw: my hands reaching out and going through the lamp, I couldn’t turn it on. He saw: me staring blankly into space, breath becoming heavier, obviously in a state of panic but not moving, and he felt he had to wake me up (I had warned him about it, so he knew what it was). As weird as it sounds I’d take those times over insomniac times, because at least I was sleeping and my friend had a perfect brain she quote: “Re-he-heally want to poke”. She calmed me and said it’s either this or not sleeping at all a lot of the times when you’re a creative person with a creative brain.

So I had a hard time sleeping the other night, and I thought: hey, what the hell, I’ll try the counting sheep thing! Well, what a load of…

Counting sheep for a restless mind (who also works with sheep on a regular basis and knows a little bit about them) goes something like this;
“One…two… hmmmm, I mean, in real life counting sheep is serious business, make sure all the sheep are there, but like this? Well, the sheep just go on and on ’til you fall asleep, not very informative of the number of sheep… Three, four … I mean, dude? How odd? Why sheep? Sheep are huffy and puffy and pushy, they follow you and go BAAAAH, that’s not very serene… five… six…seven… Ew, and then there are those demon eyes of theirs. Slits instead of round pupils, it looks right on snakes, but not on mammals… Eight… Maybe it’s got something to do with the wool, they ARE like big fluffy pillows… Hee hee. ..(here my mind goes to a pic I’ve seen on facebook where some farmers have trimmed their sheep in the shape of poodles) I wonder how it’d look if you just totally shaved the head, so it just sort of pops out like a glans in the middle of all the fluff. Hee hee… (Here my mind goes to the image of a penile glans sheep). But this thing with merino wool, oh, the production is just an awful, cruel process! Can’t sheep turn dangerous? Yes they can! I’ve seen Black Sheep! God damn creepy flesh eating zombie sheep! Ick! And that’s supposed to make you fall asleep? Hee heee… (here my mind goes to the sheep in Black Sheep driving the jeep). Swedish word pun: Får får får?… Nej… får får lamm…” etc etc…

I also had a brief moment wondering how I would look like as a sheep but let’s not get into that now. Point is, no. Just no. A busy mind can’t do the sheep thing.

A good friend actually told me the method comes from shepherds in the old days falling asleep while counting their sheep, well alrighty then, I’ve learned something new today! Still, how can you not start philosophizing about sheep as you’re counting them? Impossible.

By the way, I think I hold the record of the number of times the word “sheep” has been used in a blog post! 🙂

evil

Evil critters at Ekehagens forntidsby. Look at them. Have you seen “The Birds”?

Missed…

My thoughts go out today to my dad, who passed away on July 12th, 15 years ago. He was just shy of turning 50. I am sorry that he didn’t get to live through his 50’s, I heard they’re pretty awesome.

But he lives in my heart, always loved, and always missed. Och du? Var rädd om dig! (He always said that to me when I was heading out somewhere, after “goodbye”.

   
 

Streaming junkee

I’m having a free trial at the Apple Music streaming service, not bad, it’s got videos as well! 🙂 I think I might switch to it and use Spotify Free instead in a year or so, when they’ve worked out all the kinks and stuff, it costs the same so why not? Good news is artists seem to get a good deal there, and I’m on it as an artist as well, so look up Maria Bohm, and listen there if you’re using it too!

On another note, upon realizing I had many work days in a row, my fingers itching to record, I had to bring my little Akai 25 key midi keyboard to work. Weird in so many ways. When I record, I try to get a hold of the real instrument (Rhodes, Wurlitzer etc) or at least borrow a Nord with satisfactory likeness in the sound. Obviously this wasn’t an option while working, so I had to lay down keyboards left and right hand seperately, and press a button when I needed sustain. Lots of airplaying and stomping there, I can tell you that! It still sounds just like it should, but yes, my goodness, weird as hell.

Since you like those half dressed pics for some reason I thought I’d put one up of my sweet addiction. The shakti mat. It’s supposed to put pressure and prickle acupuncture spots, for me it’s just that little high I get from tiny sharp points on my skin. I’m a weirdo who likes needles (when I donate blood the nurses can never figure out why I go “come on, stick the big needle in me already”!). A weird little addiction for sure, but a lot healthier than some of the other ones out there! 🙂 I usually have a laydown before I sing, so… you know… I’m aaaall good and relaxed.

   
 

Back in recording mode

Happily back in recording mode after my lovely MacBook Pro Bobo (Yes, I namned it, do you not know me by now?) is back from the shop.

This time it’s a cover, one I’ve only performed live so far, enough times to really have a handle on it. Excited to see how it turns out myself!

I’ve noticed, as you can tell these things on wordpress stats, that y’all like to see photos of me either undressed or from a strange angle. Recently a combo, my “at the lake” pic, where I am standing on a slope and my legs look ridoncolously short as I am drying my hair adonis style. That narcissistic pose just might have been on purpose 😉

So heck, here, have another combo. I don’t mind. If that’s what y’all like to peep at. Giant legs! 🙂

  

To ask for a hand and not always handle

I went pretty much computer silent for a good three days after monday, something that maybe doesn’t particularly show on my frequenzy of blog posts, as they can be anything from one day to three weeks apart depending on what’s up in creative world. It’d be a bit too “factory like” if there was something to tell you everyday, I think.

Nope, I just had to sort out one of my little “meltdowns”. Angst and such accumulating from too much crap happening at the same time. Now, this happens to all of us pretty regularly, and I’m good to handle it a lot of the time. I know exactly when I stop being good at it. That very moment when I take responsibility for all of it. Doing what I do, it’s only natural I take on a leader role, that goes for most areas of my life, but especially the creative and music part since it’s my stuff. When I start thinking I have to handle everything myself, well, that’s when it gets to be a little too much. Amanda Palmer speaks about this in “The art of asking”. Yes, I may lead the music (and my life in general) but a good leader delegates and knows they don’t have to handle everything, occasionally they just have to “be”/”keep trucking” if you will and go from what’s just happened. It’s OK to ask for help. And it’s OK to let sh*t go altogether and not handle it at all, just let it splash (nom) and continue. I am slowly learning this, still.

At one point in my life, the “meltdown” was a constant state of being. Let me give you an example if you think I’m babbling and need some clarification on what I’m going on about. For a short while between school and studies, I was unemployed. Now, I went to all the classes, did all the training, I sent out 20 applications/week… Nothing. I kept thinking I was doing something wrong, I could do better and then I’d get a job, and it was disheartening to say the least. Today I’d tell my 19-year-old self: “You know what? You’re doing excellent, your skills when it comes to writing CV:s and applications are improving by the minute and you’re doing everything right. The job market is a complete bitch right now. It’s bloody hard to get employed if you’re under 25 and have no good job connections to speak of. Let it go, keep going, and pursue those studies you’ve been thinking about come autumn. You’re a great kid and you’ve learned a lot this year.”

If I’d have known that, I’d feel a lot better, I still probably wouldn’t have gotten a job but I would have saved myself a lot of grief. Still applicable. That’s why it’s so important to talk to people, not keep it bottled up inside, ask for help, because you learn, you stride, you advance, even if you don’t see it yourself at that very moment.

The meltdowns are less frequent and much shorter, because I am getting better at this. My last one was April last year when the sh*t hit the fan during album recordings. Once again, I thought it was all on me to pull it all together and it was not until I asked for help after two weeks that I realized I’d been wondering, pondering and maybe even obsessing in all the wrong places, taking it all in like it was on me and me alone. Once I let that go, I healed fairly quickly and was able to get things done.

This one was a three day stride with a break from anything online, because, let’s face it, a lot of the time the online world seems like just a place of presentation and not one of working together. Once you let that go, the social media is a good help tool as well. But I needed my outdoor time to step out of that one bubble and see the other side of it.

On the double plus side, I got to hang with my animal peeps and start a new trend called guinea pig handbag. And by that I mean Rufus the guinea pig is like the cowardly lion and hates and fears everything, so when I tried to take him and the rabbit Lenka (who’s a calm cucumber) for a walk he crawled in my hand bag and stayed for the duration.

IMG_1682 IMG_1692 IMG_1701 IMG_1704 IMG_1714 IMG_1717

IMG_1720