Makings of a video…

While in Gothenburg I took the time to make another music video. The clues you get from the pics aren’t many, mostly what my hair looked like. Purposely put a towel over one of the scenes outfits. Patience is a virtue, y’ know! 😉 Your only clue; I was cold as f*ck for most of the scenes… I will also tell you right now that I decided not to do anything with my body for this video, no putting on in muscles or anything else. Mostly my christmas dinner soft bits (or winter isolation as I like to call it). For this one I wanted to just be. Not because of the characters (one would actually demand muscles, the other a bit of weakness). But because my body as is isn’t scary. Whether I weigh 10 kgs more or 10 kgs less. It’s just a body. Probs not starved like some, probs not super big either. Just a “normal” body. Dressed in… well… patience, fans and viewers 😉

I also celebrated christmas with the loves of my life, the wives, unfortunately I was out getting the paper so Talibantomten filled in for me in a lot of the pics. Apparently he’s stopped with the “death to America”-stuff and now mostly encourages you to use a chainsaw on Sverigedemokraterna. Well… tit for tat, chainsaw for iron rods…

For those of you not so updated on Swedish politics there was almost a re-election because racist party SD couldn’t play nice in the Riksdag. An agreement was reached, a bit unsettling but it takes care of the problem of SD using Swedish politics as their own personal sandbox for now… Hoping there doesn’t have to be a lot more of it, because it does bend the rule of our govern and democracy. It’s tricky, because you don’t want history to repeat itself when it comes to intolerance, but it’s, as I said, unsettling. No other party with the numbers they have has been quite this stupid or unyielding though, so it’s a new experience for our rule altogether.

We’re hoping for the best. So is Talibantomten.







New gigs!

2014 I pretty much had one or two gigs and then struggled to put the album together. As playing live is one of my favourite things, it’s been a hard year. Planning to make it better in 2015. Starting with Livekarusellen, which is three gigs right off the bat.

First one;


I don’t think I’ve ever done this to win the whole thing. Lets be honest, I can’t stagedive with a piano, I’ve lost some points there already. But I get to play live and people get to hear me, and that’s never been a bad thing.

Good to hear from you again!

I can’t even begin to describe how you appreciate your hearing when you’ve lost it. The double-sided ear infection started during the flu, I was a bit surprised that the fever went down and then up again after 4-5 days. The flu doesn’t behave like that. And what was with this lid in one of my ears? I looked it up and it really wasn’t a common flu symptome, not even a common cold symptome after a while and to the extent that I experienced it. Then my other ear went. So, taking hardy 1177:s advice (a proper medical site that doesn’t scare you with cancer for every little thing you’ve got) I phoned my health care centre. “Normally we wait a little, but what your describing still sounds like a doctor should take a look at it”. So yeah, caught the thing quite early on. The doc looked at my ears for about three seconds. “Whoaaah, acute otitis!” (ear infection in medical language).

Of course the antibiotics stopped the fever, but my hearing was still pretty shot. Looked that up. “If your hearing is not better in three months…” Asking my mom (a nurse): “More common that it takes like 6 weeks, sweety, that’s why they say that”. So OK, roll with the punches. The swelling doesn’t subside as quick as the infection. So, friends, I’ve been virtually half deaf and everyone sounded like smurfs since mid-november. But it’s been improving quickly, and today, after a long walk before work and a long walk at work, something actually went “pop” and the lid on the left ear is completely gone. 5% deafness instead of 50 (it was at about 15 at the pop). Much appreciated. Should be up and running totally with both ears in a few days!

The worst thing was not being able to listen. To music, to the sounds of my pets (their sounds make up half of my communication with them, I’ve nailed the sounds they make), just to composing and practicing piano (not so fun or even constructive when it sounds like a toy piano), and listening to people in general. I love to listen. Even nature sounds like birds and wind blowing in trees is quite a part of me and my processes. I think my hearing was more important to me than I realized.

So I am very greatful. The only con is: I can’t shut stupid people out and have a valid excuse anymore… oh, well… Ups and downs to everything, eh?

I did keep it up with the pets though. Lenka fun-with bun bun still wonders ’bout my muppet sweater (looks like a weird animal to me, should I eat it?) and Lennox the degu had a birthday december 1st, not to be ignored, he got treats and a new hammock since they chewed up the last one.



Old new songs

I’m rummaging through the computer as I might need a new battery, things may disappear (they are backed up but I still need to make sure) and two songs stood out. I’ve probably posted things written the same years (2009-2011) but this is after a thourough look-through, as I said, you do so many a year some get forgotten.  I had forgotten about these songs, yet I am really happy with them arrangement and production wise. And lyrically, of course.

Another chorus with no real words, but you don’t always need them.

Mary couldn’t hold me, papa should’ve told me, nobody’s a winner, everyone’s a sinner, anyone who loves me will eventually start to hate me whole heartedly

Baby wouldn’t leave me, lovable decieved me, winning is so hollow, all the girls should swallow, silence is the wall they use to get their way, never feed a flame, you make it go away.

If you couldn’t hold me wish somebody’d told me, I am not a winner, I can never win, I am ripe with sin (totally stold this last phrase from Dogma, thank you, Kevin Smith…)

And then there’s this one, with the double entendre of the title;

I think of you late at night when I’m on my own, I think of holding you, kissing you, missing you and I wish you home. And I wonder if you think like me, miss like me, scar like me, And I wonder if you think like me miss like me, Scar.
I hope you do, No I won’t wish you well I ain’t gonna be the bigger ma’am, I hope you’re hurting bad
I think of her, little girl bashed and bruised and torn, I think of holding her, shielding her, little girl keep her safe and warm. And I wonder if you think like her…
I hope you do…
You, you’re the monster in my head, you’re the empty in my bed, you’re the monster in my bed. Do you feel anything like that, do you feel anything at all, do you feel anything?
I hope you do…
I hope you do, I hope you do, I hope that you go soft I hope I made you so much bigger man… I hope you’re doing bad…

Since I wrote them around the time I took the photos that go with, I thought they’d make a good fit, conceptually.

presbild 1

Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you…

Flensburg, Germany, was interesting. While the word Flens is quite disgusting in Swedish, the town offered a lorra wonderful things inspirationwise… Here are a few pics! 🙂

The “Malin” figure. Always…


I met Santa, got a pressie, and he was lovely… dream come true! 😀