twenty-ten! :)

A birthday I’ve been waiting for. Finally 30! I found my 20’s really annoying, I mean, I was a neurotic basket case until the last two or three years of it ๐Ÿ˜‰

An age to really explore life and music and where it takes me. Neurotic about being 30? Nah, in the end I’m one day older than yesterday, and one year older than last year, just like any birthday. But I’ve heard the 30’s are where things start happening, so I’m looking forward to that! ๐Ÿ™‚ Plus someone called my face “completely clean and smooth” yesterday, someone my age who apparently envied my baby face (she said; my gosh!), plus my love for Spongebob and rubberducks makes me pretty not paranoid about getting older.

Love it! If it brings me wrinkles, love ’em too! ๐Ÿ™‚ Life is all about enjoying all of it, not striving backwards. Honestly, 18 yr old girls today need to hear that getting older is great and something to look forward to, not have older-than-that women trying to be 18 again.

Hello 30’s, can’t wait to see whatcha bring! ๐Ÿ™‚

I can’t let you do that, Dave…

Well, sometimes you overthink it. In all honour of what I teach my students, I think I’m overthinking where I just used to “do” before. Like today, going for “trestrukna C” and the C three octaves down. As soon as I stopped thinking of technique I nailed it.

The last few days have been a joy musically. At least working as much as I do gives me some extra cashio, something I didn’t have during spring. So my annual little Thomann shopping spree took place. Don’t get me wrong, I go for budget, but good budget improving what I do. The lyrics recorded before the shopping spree have the tiniest bit of a room reverb on them, now when I’ve set a few things up it ends up more clean. Not that it makes a whole lot of difference, but a little. A little that the perfectionist in me really wanted. I cringe about the little things. They are probs not noticable. But every little improvement does make something happen in the music as I get just a wee bit more comfortable.

I also got that second keyboard I’ve been dreaming about, not Nord which was my first choice, but a Roland E-15 that does give you a run for the money on a budget. So now I can wow people with what I’ve been thinking of, playing 2 keys simoultaniously. It’s actually not too hard (I probably shouldn’t be telling you this) the motor skills are pretty much the same as a pianist practices different things in right and left hand. But deffo a difference in stage seating position, so I may have to have a little practice. But I’m looking forward to it!

The most redundant thing? A mic stand cup holder. Deffo a luxury item. But hey, sometimes you gots to just be like a boss! ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Warm and fuzzy…

And fluffy! Measuring myself for the costume of Cobweb I had measuring tape and everything inbetween (measuring armpit girth? Fresh!) I guess it’s to fit my wings since I’m a fairy.

I’ve also had a great feeling of dispondency in the last few days. Mostly because of the whole “women in the industry thing”. The hopelessness comes from listening to the lads. “What? Uneven? I don’t know any women experiencing this, I am not experiencing this!” Well, lads… of course YOU’RE not, and I bet you don’t know how hard the women have worked. All I got was “If you’re REALLY interested, but women aren’t, then you make it in the industry.” I can’t even tell you how idiotic this is from a social psychology point of view. Of course, women who are interested enough… but why do they have to be “interested enough” when the lads don’t? Soc psych 101. Women are the underdogs, therefore someone with a good interest who can’t take the “lad’s studio” won’t stay… When the industry is 90% men, men get encouraged in another way. It’s a man’s industry. Made by men. For men. So men can be mildly interested and still make it. Women have to go another extra mile… or ten… (With exceptions among men who aren’t ‘lads’, I know this).

I’ve nagged my way into studios, into cutting rooms. And interested as I am, I don’t get the social bit and end up doing a lot by myself. Because it’s men’s humour, men’s way of looking at things. I feel cut out. I know. Women and feelings. But it’s just so typichal. I argued for as long as I could with short answers when someone posted a link with the comment: “Hey, whatcha complaining about”. I even got offered a job, and I was like: “I can’t. My car doesn’t work and I have album work planned. I can’t right now. The album takes months to plan and organize.” And got accused of “not taking the chance” and “complaining about nothing” when I won’t even take the job. Here’s the difference, boys and girls. In the “lad’s world” he can say no and get offered a job two weeks later. In my world I “squander my chances” and “play the victim”.

I took three screen dumps of the conversation I had with this music industry man. For every tenth sentence he says… I interject with ONE. And he says I’m nagging and I’ll have problems in the industry if I go on like this, with this “attitude”. One sentence to his ten. And I’m nagging and giving attitude. So… women should just shut up?

These are the people with the power of giving me jobs. And they systematically reject every little thing I say, even when I hardly say anything. I can’t pay attention to an uneven industry, even when it’s so obvious a child would see it. Because it’ll cost me a job. Yet this is what I’m all about. Damn right there’s some despondency.

I even posted in the group “Varfรถr apor aldrig bรคr rosa klรคnning” a group very good at giving support when it comes to things like these. And they couldn’t answer. The industry is just so fucked up there’s no solution right now, not even a good counter argument. I guess I’ll have to make some. Thank god for the powerful women in the music industry calling themselves “feminists” now. Together with them, I hope I can make a change…

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Note: I eventually said a very clear “no” as the music industry man was also mocking me in public, I told him I’d be stupid taking the job after that. Dunno if it made any difference, but… sometimes you’ve gots to stick to your guns…

True agony…

Well, I drink a lot of liquid before I record song to make it ideal and there was this one where I knew I was just making the take but…

Oooooh, I needed to pee! I think the agony shone through in what was supposed to be a song expressing pain, so… As soon as the take was done… *run…SLAM!…click*. It was a great take. I might make a competition of it. “Guess the song where I needed to pee” with some great prices… ๐Ÿ˜‰

Hint: In headphones you might hear me jumping up and down with legs crossed ๐Ÿ˜‰

Busy bee

Lots to do, work, work, music work, cat watching and tending to. I usually take time out for some exercise and a walk, if nothing else to supply the brain with oxygen ๐Ÿ˜‰ this week there’s been too much to do even for that, something I do notice while trying to do brainy, smarty, goodly stuff… Anyway, since I’m hiding away with the current album and not posting “making of” things here’s how far I’m stretching. A pic of the project. You’re looking at some nice drums and keyboards. Fantastic how they’re all small’n blue and square and fit in a computer, right? ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Some nice-ish thangs for summer

OK, so I’ve got a booking company, and that’s a big load of my mind. It was good when I got the gigs myself, you knew the places where places you wanted to play when they thought it was cool a girl called/sought them out, as opposed to the places that almost hung up as soon as they heard a female voice (“female musicians?! Isn’t it enough they get to vote and drive cars?!!”).

But when I’m caught up in projects, like the album now, I have zero time to make phone calls. Delegating to companies devoted solely to get bookings and gigs seems like a good idea.

And I’m also playing Cobweb in A Midsummernight’s Dream in August. I’ve always wanted to do Shakespeare, so I’m quite excited. I remember studying English Literature when I lived in England (the weird thing is I was the top of the class full of Englishmen, but considering how most of us treat our own language it might not be too far fetched) and there was a lot of Shakespeare. Mark, the professor who was BTW such a stereotypichal professor with patches on his cardigan elbows, thought he’d explain it to me a little extra and I was like: “Hey, do you know how much he invades our basic history classes in Sweden? No need, I love The Bard.” I’ve owned the full collection of his plays and poems since I was 14. So yes, looking forward to do some jambic verse and Spindelvรคv as she is called in Swedish ๐Ÿ™‚ The pressure is on though, they judge your acting based on how you do Shakespeare. Good thing it’s mostly singing, THAT I know how to do ๐Ÿ˜‰

So… nice summer stuff on the way! ๐Ÿ™‚