It’s been one of those years for me. I think it started with a big part of my childhood saying farewell to this world, my grandpa, and all of a sudden I’m in possession of all these things that I played with and admired at a distance growing up. The Tandberg, the octave harmonica, the violins, both the homemade and the ones he used to play on recordings with Västgöta Spelemän (bragging granddaughter, you betcha), the big and small chess board and the books, oooh, the old books, and all the analogue cameras and the poems and paintings and other wonderful thing-a-ma-bobs. I am grateful for them, but since it hasn’t even been a year I think I’m very nostalgic and feel this pang when I look at them too.
But it’s been good for me. It’s inspired me, remembering this whole other world I lived in when I was little. Reading the Narnia books, I’d walk into my closet, and just sit by the wall for a while. When I closed my eyes I could almost smell the snow and the pines on the other side, and feel the light from the lamp post just standing there by the spare-oom lighting up the trees and the professor’s fur coats. The only thing that comes close today to giving me that feeling is Neil Gaiman and JK Rowling, writing for us adults who wanna dream as much as they write for kids. Otherwise I have to invent this other world myself. Sometimes you need a little reminder of where that imagination comes from.
And that’s why I performed as my twisted Dorothy Gale. I think a few people got it when I opened with an a capella “somewhere over the rainbow” and clicketiclacked my red heels together. I grew up with the Wizard of Oz and just loved it to bits, eating my burnt popcorn and hugging my white teddy named Iso (scary, eh, Annelie?).I also think that’s why I had my little Queen month. I loved them when I was little, and renewing that love made me discover things I was too young to discover before.
Bills are a reality. Book keeping and building your home and business is a reality. Expensive car payments are CERTAINLY an unpleasant reality. But so is your imagination, and the things that give you joy, wether they are in your head or not. Remember, just because it’s all happening in your head, that doesn’t make it any less real (Dumbledore). And you need it just as much as you need to do those other things. I think a bit of nostalgia is healthy, just to remind you of what you loved and what you can love. You can’t live in the past. But you can visit from time to time