I had the theme all worked out. But I wasn’t alone. I can’t tell you how fun the few days were. And I needed them. January had been tough, kicking me around with grandpas death, and on top of that a lot of ilness, so I was really all dried out and I hadn’t excercised for the whole month (filmed in the end of the month) nor really gotten all the liquids and nutritional foods I needed. So while I was planning on a slight weight gain and looking tired for the video, as a young mom would be, I hadn’t quite planned for looking THAT run down. But when they asked me: “you wanna wait?” I just looked at my reflection and said: “You know what, it’s never gonna look as real as now. And I love working. I need this. It’s a welcome distraction and it’s gonna help me get back on track”. After all, that’s how I look when I’m grieving and caring for other human beings, so real, yessir!
I knew I wanted to do black n’ white as the EP has sort of that theme, and I’ve never tried black and white, and it sets the mood more. So I was wearing all white. For the esthetics, that something you won’t see often in real life either, but it looked wicked with the film, right? 😉 Annelie, my nice wife who lended out her daughter in a heartbeat, asked if I wanted Isolde to look gender neutral. “You know what, if it was my baby, boy or girl, they’d be wearing dresses if they seemed to love it and suspenders if they seemed to love it. Let her be Isolde. Lets concentrate on what goes with the black and white.” And we did. I love her knitted hat and the stars. And she was comfortable, the most important thing.
Lets talk baba for a minute. Izzy was really great. I know she’s a great kid. Shy the first hour like kids are, but great and happy and not much fuzz. You can never know filming a video though, with flashing lights, big black cameras, not to mention there were a few guys there she didn’t know, and Daniel, the camera man, is 1,90 with a dark complection. But she proved to be a great little actress. I spent the morning with her, having her parrots dancing for her so she would eat her porridge (Shake your tailfeather is a great song) and let her getting used to me. There’s no use trying to create a chemistry with a kid by throwing her into filming. And it worked. Even the new environments (awesome galpals prepared the set and built a whole new child’s room and prepared everything for the shoot) just made her curious.
Both assistants (Annelie and Torbjörn Amilon) were parents, so they could instruct me where I missed out. Not that I don’t feel comfortable in the role. Aside from dealing with a lorra kids in the other jobs, and having felt motherly stings myself, being an artist in the music field is sort of like being a mother. A lot of psychology and tending to.
While I thought; hey, except Limbo, there’s no real mythology here, the Demeter and Persephone myth kept popping out in front of me, wanting attention. And I realized I was embodying one of the archetypes in the myth. Demeter, chasing her daughter into the underworld, bargaining to get her back. People who have suffered miscarriages or lost a child early on know you’re a Demeter at one point or another. You bargain with the Underworld to get your baby back, but your baby is a pure soul, and has moved on to another physical body or is scouting for one up in the starry sky. They’ve done their part in your life. They still love you. But like Demeter, it’s really not allowed to get them back. But you won’t realize that until you’ve created at least one winter for yourself.
There is of course a plot twist, Sixth Sense kinda thing and yes, we purposly made you believe there had been another loss in the beginning of the video. I like the classics, but hate the obvious. We sat down during easter with the final cuts. Saga had done the basics, but the fine-tuning took seven (!!) hours. I mostly sat in a funny hat re-counting all the scenes that were filmed so we didn’t miss any (we had a loooorra material) so I didn’t put myself down as editor. But the interaction between Annelie and Saga was pretty awesome and striking to watch. Annelie fiddled, diddled, gave suggestions and Saga the wizard made it all happen and tweaked it to perfection. I can’t tell you how proud we all were of eachother in the end. Saga got some cred after less than 24 hours of the video up, for her editing skills. I of course, have always known she’s awesome 😉
Over all, it felt like such a safe environment, and I had I think more fun than any video so far, in spite of what the video is about. We laughed, ate pizza, talked, coached eachother and it really felt like a collab where everyone got to shine at what they do best. Even my beloved chubbacheeks 🙂 I had hoped to do more stunts, but Torbjörn, who is a stuntman, pulled the reins and talked some sense into me 😉
I have had compliments from mothers afterwards, which is probably the greatest compliments in this case, and it’s been rated PG 13 in the USA already 😉 (controversy = good) And it’s braught out tears in EVERYONE who’s seen it thaT I’ve talked to, even us, the people working on it. I know some say you should never, in entertainement work with animals or kids, but I’ve worked with both now and I can’t think of anything I recommend more 🙂